


Sweets and Meats

by intenzity9



Series: Ren Amamiya x Ann Takamaki One-Shots [3]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Barbecue, Big Bang Burger Challenge (Persona 5), Burgers - Freeform, Cafe Leblanc (Persona 5), Coffee, Contests, Curry, Dessert & Sweets, F/M, Fast Food, Food Issues, Gluttony, Ice Cream, Mind Control, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Secret Relationship, Sexual Humor, Teriyaki, yogurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28014555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intenzity9/pseuds/intenzity9
Summary: After a residing side effect from Mementos has switched Ryuji and Ann at their respective food preferences, Ren asks for help from Shiho, Sumire, and Morgana into bringing them back to their senses.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren & Sakamoto Ryuji, Amamiya Ren & Suzui Shiho, Amamiya Ren/Takamaki Ann, Sakamoto Ryuji & Suzui Shiho, Suzui Shiho & Takamaki Ann
Series: Ren Amamiya x Ann Takamaki One-Shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2030611
Kudos: 6





	Sweets and Meats

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, y'all!
> 
> Third one-shot out of five. So, uh, my attempt at humor again. This time, it's Ren x Ann. I finally managed to figure out what can be humorous for this ship.... and it involves food.
> 
> In all honesty, I find it more fascinating to read/write fics that involve Metaverse effects and shit since it can really make someone a clown upon returning to the real world.
> 
> With that said, let's continue!

A trip to Mementos ended in a disaster as the Phantom Thieves escaped the Reaper thrice while getting ambushed by strong Shadows. As they arrived back to Shibuya, Ren received a hammer fist from Makoto.

"NEVER EVER stop the Mona car for the sake of taking a piss in the tracks." she glared at him.

"Hey, not my fault Ryuji gave me that soda before we dove in."

"Huh? Me giving a soda?"

Makoto sighed as she walked ahead with Haru and Yusuke. "I'll be with Haru and Yusuke in their grocery shopping. So please don't try to do anything reckless for now."

"You got it." Ren saluted as he looked at Ann and Ryuji. "You two feeling tired?"

"Yeah, man. I feel like eating some cookies at this point." The faux blonde mumbled.

"I get ya, man. Nothing beats a trip to hell like- Wait, what?" Ren recognized the oddity of Ryuji's words.

"Hey, Ren. Wanna go to a beef bowl shop with me? I'm in the mood for meat." Ann slung her shoulder around her secret boyfriend.

Ren immaturely blushed at her words and carefully spoke. "I would love to, but it's getting late. I still gotta take the Sleeping Taba home before Sojiro would get stressed."

Ann pouted and sighed. "Fine. You owe me, okay?"

Ren pecks her forehead as he bade her farewell. Morgana sighed as he looked at Futaba.

"You just had to bring us to a danger zone."

"Speak for yourself. Remember that time you ran out on us and tried to run us over in Mementos with Haru?"

Morgana winced at Ren's strict words before retreating to the bag.

"Are we home yet?" Futaba murmured as she held her yawn.

"About to be. Come on."

The next day, Ren was already working out to keep in shape for his training with Sumire in Inokashira Park later. After breaking her free from Maruki's spell, Ren has promised to hang out with Sumire while making her feel slowly confident in herself. She couldn't join the group yesterday in their trip due to a family matter, which even Akechi accepted despite abandoning the group early on during the chase. Ren made a mental reminder to give him the heaviest armor he has so he would feel their pain in another trip to Mementos.

Now having a coffee break, Ren heard the doorbell ring in Leblanc.

"I'm sorry, we're still clo- Suzui."

"Hello."

Shiho Suzui, the catalyst of the Phantom Thieves' formation, stood there with a smile. Ren returned the smile with his own as he welcomed her.

"Mind if I can sit here?"

"Sure thing, Shiho."

As she sat by one of the booths, she looked around the place with awe. Noticing Morgana by the corner, she extends her hand and call him out.

"Pspspspspspspspspspspsps!"

"What does she think I am!?" Morgana huffed in annoyance.

"A cat." Ren dryly retorted. Left with no choice, Morgana crawls towards Shiho for her to pet him.

"Good kitty." Shiho hummed.

The doorbell rings as Ren and Shiho look at Ryuji who sat down straight to the counter and grinned.

"Mornin'!"

"You seem hyped, Ryuji." Ren mused.

"Sure, I am! One bowl of ice cream please!"

Shiho whipped her head up and called out Ryuji.

"Sakamoto?"

"Oh, hey there. Long time no see!"

"Uh, yeah...." Shiho then cleared her throat and continued. "Since when were you into sweet stuff?"

"What do you mean? I've always been into sweets." Ryuji furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Uh, no you don't." Morgana meowed.

"Can it, cat! As if you know me wholeheartedly!" Ryuji barked at Morgana, earning a flick to the forehead from Shiho.

"Quit yelling at a poor animal like this cat."

"He started it!" Ryuji scoffed as he turned back to Ren. "Anyways, how much for ice cream?"

Ren looked at Shiho and sighed. "Dude, there is no ice cream sold in LeBlanc. It's a cafe, remember?"

"Eh? I could have sworn LeBlanc had ice cream sold here..." Ryuji was now confused as hell.

"Um, I'm gonna call Ann..." Shiho pulled out her phone to see a notification on her social media. She then opened it to see a post from Ann.

_"Ready to have the thickest meat in my mouth today."_ Ann's caption read as she used a photo of her with a knife and a fork while sticking her tongue out.

"Amamiya-kun?"

"Something wrong with Ann?" Shiho nods in confirmation. "Alright. We're closing up after you finish drinking. Ryuji, you and I are gonna go buy some ice cream nearby."

Morgana can only snicker as he wished Ryuji remained confused.

As per Ren's instructions, Shiho contacted Ann for her location. After telling her that she is in Kichijoji, Ren and Shiho rush to meet up with Ann while Ryuji remained entranced with the ice cream bucket Ren bought in the supermarket.

"Shiho! I missed you so much!" Ann squealed as she gave her best friend a bear hug. Shiho awkwardly returns the hug due to the current situation.

"I miss you too, Ann, but what made you become a carnivore?"

"Huh? Haven't you forgotten Shiho? I've always been a fan of meat," Ann proclaimed as she turned to Ren, "but Ren grills the best meat curry in Tokyo."

Ren gulped at the indirect innuendo and waved her off.

"Ann, I know you want the meat here..."

"Then lemme eat the Ultimate Barbarian Barbecue Challenge!" Ann whined as the waiter presented a platter of 50 barbecued meat, which consists of pork, beef, lamb, and chicken.

"MMMMMM!! SO DELICIOUS!" Ann shouted. Once the waiter gave her the go signal, Ann dug in and shoved three pieces of meat into her mouth. Shiho eyed her foreign best friend eating like a wild animal while Ren snickered at Morgana, who popped his head out of the bag in time to see his 'Lady Ann' eat like Ryuji.

"Nooooo.... L-Lady Ann...." Morgana muttered in horror.

Ryuji then caught up with them and gawked at Ann as her mouth was now slobbered with gravy and soy sauce.

"SO DELICIOUS!"

"Dude, when did Ann eat like this?"

Shiho delivers a karate chop to his head. "Speak for yourself."

Ren then moved away a bit to talk to Morgana, who is still mortified.

"Mona."

"L-Lady Ann... eating like Ryuji..."

"Psst! Hey! Is it possible for a status effect in Mementos to be carried over to the real world?" He whispered.

"It is possible by a slim chance," Morgana explained, "however, I dunno how that solves your question."

"Ann and Ryuji are completely different now. So-"

"Hey, man. Mind if you can join me in buying some cookies in the nearby confectionery?"

Morgana scurried off after hearing Ryuji speaking in a different tone. Ren was caught by surprise as well, knowing that the brash energetic Ryuji is now replaced by a sweet tooth.

"Uh, sure...."

Ryuji turned to Ann and sighed deeply. "On second thought, I'll just ask money from you instead for the cookies. Apparently, Ann can't control herself with the meat in there."

Ren then turned to see Shiho trying to pull Ann away from the last sparerib piece. Sighing as well, he gives Ryuji 1000 yen for a box of cookies as the blonde boy sprinted out of sight.

"I guess we can conclude that something happened in Mementos that turned Lady Ann into Ryuji and Ryuji into Lady Ann. In terms of food preference, of course."

Ren nods in Morgana's deduction as Shiho walks up to him with a defeated expression.

"Ann elbowed me so hard that I lost my appetite."

"I WIN!" Ann chimed from inside as Shiho exhaled.

"Finally..."

"ROUND 2, PLEASE!"

"Aw, come on!"

After Ann surrendered in Round 3, Ren and Shiho met up with Ryuji in the confectionery as they see him with an empty box of cookies.

"Uh, Ryuji? Where are the cookies?" Shiho questioned him.

"Seriously, Ryuji? You need to slow down on the sweets. You train a lot, but you also eat too many cakes and cookies!" Ann chided him, triggering an argument.

"Easy for you to say, Miss Meat Monger! You're trying to be a model, yet you eat meat and don't even work out to keep the protein working!"

"Mind you that I practice my routines at home!"

"The routines of eat, sleep, watch, repeat!"

"Zip it, you sugarcoated monkey!"

"Drool-covered cougar!"

"You two, stop this!" Shiho stomped her right foot before wincing in pain. "Shit..."

"You alright?" Ren asked Shiho as he helped her. Ann, however, got jealous and pulls Ren away from Shiho.

"Wha-"

"What the f-"

"You stay with me, Ren. I want you to give me tons of meat for dinner later."

"I-"

Ryuji grabs him away from Ann and spat. "No effing way he'll cook you an entire meat locker! He'd rather be baking a shitload of cookies with different flavors. Choco Chip, Java Mint, White Chocolate, Brownie-Coated Fudge.. Oh, man!"

"Listen, guys, I-"

"Ren is mine!"

"No, he's mine!"

"I'm his effing girlfriend!"

"I'm his effing best friend!"

Morgana returns as he witnesses Ren being rocked around like a doll.

"Did I miss something?"

Unfortunately, his words were registered as meowing to Shiho as she picked him up and tossed him onto Ann.

"Whfthf... Shiho!" Ann shouted at her as she grabbed Morgana off her face.

"You two need to really stop!" Shiho glared at the two blondes. "What's gotten into you two?! It's as if your minds have been swapped!"

Ryuji and Ann looked at each other before averting their glares. Shiho sighed as she looked at Ren for a solution. The frizzy-haired country boy shrugged, forcing Shiho to think of an idea.

"First time returning to Tokyo, and I end up with this scenario..."

After a minute or two, Shiho snapped her fingers in realization.

"I got it!"

Ren and the blondes eyed Shiho with puzzled expressions.

"Whoever will win the Big Bang Burger Challenge can have Ren the entire evening with the respective food."

"Ew, there's no sweets in there!" Ryuji objected with a disgusted face. "Like, it's an effing meat burger! Not a hot chocolate burger!"

"I'll ask the staff to give you a substitute, if you're that picky for food." Shiho groaned as Ren gave her a thumbs up.

"If Ren will be okay with this... fine." Ann clung onto him as she traced her finger on his chest to draw a heart.

"Get ready to lose, Ann!" Ryuji slung his arm onto his shoulders and playfully jabbed his ribs.

"What have I gotten myself into?" Ren muttered under his breath before looking at his watch. "Crap! I still have training with Sumire!"

"Huh? Why?"

"Sumire?" Shiho parroted the name, "Is she like a friend of yours?"

"Yeah. In fact," Ren eyed the three as he grabbed Morgana and placed him in his bag, "I'm her only best friend, and it'd be best if I had time to spend with her as well."

"Where will it be?" Shiho inquired him. Once he said he'll be working out in Inokashira Park, Shiho nods in affirmation as Ren and Morgana leave immediately.

"Hey, Shiho..."

Shiho felt Ann's hands rub on her shoulders as she felt a chill down her spine.

"Y-Y-Yes, Ann?"

"Mind if you can treat us that Big Bang Burger Challenge thing? Ren didn't leave money, so we're hoping you have money."

"Yeah. Plus, you promised to switch the burger to something else." Ryuji backed up Ann in their attempt to let Shiho pay up nearly 10,000 yen worth of a meal.

Shiho brought the blondes to Central Street for the challenge. Ignoring the unsettling smiles of the staff, Shiho managed to convince one of the staff to exchange one Galaxy Burger for the winter-exclusive Cold Space Yogurt Bowl, which is as big as the Galaxy Burger itself.

"Mmm! I can't wait to eat the whole Burger!" Ann clapped her hands in excitement.

"Dude, this might be the biggest yogurt I'm ever gonna eat!" Ryuji howled.

"You two better finish those or I'm whooping both your asses for money." Shiho huffed as the challenge begun.

The ravenette watched her best friend chow down the burger as if it's nothing compared to the regular Yakisoba Pan in Shujin. Shifting her eyes to Ryuji, Shiho observes him scoop up the creamy yogurt and eat it up without earning a brain freeze. Shaking her in disbelief, she can't even fathom if these are the same people she grew up with and endured the terror known as Kamoshida.

"Mmmm.... Do you see the meaty goodness of the patty, Ryuji?"

"No effing way. See how creamy this yogurt is?"

Shiho blushed at how dirty her mind went.

_Don't think of those thoughts. You've been sexually attacked before, Shiho. No dirty thoughts..._

"See how the meat gives off the juiciness it has to make my tongue savor it?"

"See how the softness and sweetness of the yogurt cream can relax in my mouth, Ann?"

Shiho shuts her eyes tight until a phone text came from Ren.

_"If you guys are done, meet me in Inokashira Park."_

Shiho clasped her hands and prayed that they'd be done soon. Ann slammed her hands on the table with a victorious grin.

"I WIN!"

Ryuji slammed his fists with a toothy grin.

"I WIN TOO!"

Shiho immediately stood up and grabbed the both of them by their ears as they take the Inogami Line to Inokashira Park.

"So Ann-senpai and Ryuji-senpai are different because of their food preference? You sure it's not just them trying out different foods?"

Sumire quirked her brow as she finished hearing Morgana and Ren explain what happened earlier.

"No. For one, Lady Ann is no carnivore. She's a gentle woman who would prefer the finest cakes for her stomach." Morgana defended his claim.

"It was also odd for Ryuji to just barge in to LeBlanc for ice cream."

"I see. Wait, who's with them at this time?"

Sumire's question was answered as a black-haired teen arrives with two bickering blondes behind her.

"No, I withstood all that meat! Accept your loss, Ryuji!"

"No effing way! The yogurt's thickness was too weak for me! YOU accept your loss!"

Ren sighed as Shiho approached him.

"Those two just won't shut up..."

"I see now why." Sumire mouthed.

Shiho then looked at her and extended a hand. "Shiho Suzui."

"Sumire. Sumire Yoshizawa." The redhead returned the handshake.

"What happened?" Ren asked Shiho.

"Ann chowed down the entire Galaxy Burger while Ryuji gobbled up the entire Cold Space Yogurt."

"And none of them feel uncomfortable after?" Sumire tilted her head in confusion.

"Yeah." Shiho's eyes lit up suddenly. "That's it!"

"What's it?" Ren, Morgana, and Sumire said in unison.

"What if we make them eat so much it'll make them uncomfortable and change them back to normal?"

Sumire taps her cheek while Ren fixes his glasses.

"That could work, though I fear Lady Ann would get high cholesterol while Ryuji would end up increasing his chances of diabetes." Morgana begrudgingly elaborated.

"Yeah, Morgana-senpai. Probably not a good idea."

"Huh? You called his cat Senpai? Why?"

Shiho's inquiry jolted Sumire and Morgana before Ren acted.

"Sumire has a bad habit of calling anyone her Senpai."

"Senpai!" She stomped her foot.

"See?"

"Alright. Though should we take my suggestion?"

Ren shrugged. "We got no other choice."

The quad then eyed the blondes still arguing about the challenges.

"Dude, what is this?"

"Yeah, Ren. Why buy all these if you're just gonna bring us back to LeBlanc?"

Ryuji and Ann looked at their leader with bewilderment as Ryuji has one booth filled with cakes, cookies, ice cream, brownies, and biscuits while Ann has a booth full of beef teriyaki, pork teriyaki, chicken teriyaki, tuna belly, and frankfurters.

"Trust me. When Shiho said you two finished the challenge like it was nothing, I find it suspicious. So instead, we decided to have a unique challenge: LeBlanc's special "Don't Tell Sojiro" Food Challenge!"

"TA-DA!" Shiho, Sumire, and Morgana shook their hands like magicians.

Ryuji then eyed the sweets in front of him. "So this is all for free?"

"Y-Yeah!" Ren sheepishly chuckled while hiding Sojiro's credit card behind his back. _Maruki, I know we are going to stop you and all... but mind returning the exact amount of money we used for this ridiculous crap?_

"Besides... winner gets to stay with Ren here for seconds." Shiho smugly played her card, unaware that Sumire was now curious.

"I-Is that s-s-so, Shiho-senpai?"

"Sumire, it's not like it's gonna really happen." Morgana rolled his eyes.

"So winner stays with you, huh? If that'll be the case, I'll be needing more of your meat later, Ren!"

Sumire and Shiho blushed along with Ren in Ann's (daring) comment.

"Oh-ho, you think you're gonna win? Get real! Ren-Ren is gonna be buying me a bucket of Cookies and Cream ice cream while we play video games later!"

"Now I want a bucket of Cookies and Cream ice cream..." Sumire whimpered.

Shiho raised her handkerchief up in the air. "On my mark..."

Ann licked her lips like a panther ready to pounce on her prey.

"... Get set..."

Ryuji cracked his joints to loosen himself up and rubbed his hands with glee.

"GO!"

Ann began devouring the pork teriyaki first while Ryuji started eating the cookies. Ren offered Shiho and Sumire the usual LeBlanc meal set as they watched the blondes fight their way to victory.

_Oh, you think you're gonna win with just sweets? Too bad, Sakamoto!_ Ann internally yelled as she grabbed a frankfurter and attempted to swallow it whole. Ren looked away while Sumire and Shiho blushed and lost their appetite.

_What the hell, Ann?_

_Ann-senpai... She took it all in. Her gag reflex won't be the same after that._

Morgana, being an innocent soul, was amazed at how Ann tries to eat the whole frankfurter in one bite but at the same time was shocked by it.

_You think meat will guarantee your win? No way, Ann!_ Ryuji internally shouted as he began licking the ice cream in big licks.

Ren exits the cafe with Shiho and Sumire while Morgana remained.

"Ugh, those two are giving off a lot of mixed signals with the way they eat..." Shiho shuddered.

"I know what you mean, Shiho-senpai. My sister and I have joined eating contests before, but this... Hrgh!" Sumire shook her head vigorously.

"Seems like Morgana is enjoying the sights." Ren uttered.

"That cat is so innocent... especially when it stares at Ann like that." Shiho noticed Morgana's ecstatic behavior towards Ann.

"If only you knew..." Ren whispered.

Night has fallen as the trio arrived back in LeBlanc. Morgana was napping by the counter while Ryuji and Ann are knocked out cold in their booths.

"We came back from watching a movie, and this is what we see?" Ren tapped Morgana's head to wake him up.

"Oh, you're back." The cat shook his body to keep himself awake. "While you guys were out, they decided to make me the judge when they opted to make their own curry dish."

Sumire looked at the kitchen and gasped. "They broke some plates?!"

"Damnit, Sojiro is not gonna like that..." Ren shivered in fear.

"Don't worry. Boss came in to see them break those plates. He let them off the hook under one condition."

"What would that be, Morgana?"

Morgana shrunk as he gave the answer. "He gets to use the money from our Mementos trip yesterday."

"What!?"

"What's wrong?" Shiho asked Ren.

"N-Nothing..." Ren hung his head in disbelief.

Sumire then looked at the two blondes. "I take it they got into a food coma?"

"Yep. Right before they got the chance to eat their distorted curry."

Shiho, Ren, and Sumire then looked at Ryuji's homemade curry: mixed with ice cream, brownies, and a lot of bobba balls. They then turned to Ann's, which isn't even curry anymore but a pile of beef chunks covered in curry sauce.

"These are..."

"Disasters."

"Ugggghhhhh...."

The four of them turn to see Ryuji waking up.

"Maaaaaan, my stomach hurts.."

"Well, there's your homemade curry there. Eat it up." Ren gestured Ryuji to his food before the blonde stared at the curry.

"Dude, what is in this thing?"

"Ice cream, brownies, and a lot of bobba balls."

"BLECH! NO MEAT IN THAT THING?!"

"Nghh... quiet down, Ryuji. I don't feel so good..." It was Ann's turn to wake up.

"Ann! Great timing!" Shiho greeted her.

"Shiho? Shiho! What are you doing here?" Ann was perplexed with Shiho's presence.

"Yeah, yeah. Nice to see you too. But! Come on and try eating the curry you made!"

Ann then glanced at the abomination in front of her. "What the f- WHAT IS THIS!?"

"It has all the food you need, Ann-senpai!" Sumire joined in. "It has beef chunks rich in protein and-"

"Okay, okay! I appreciate the meat in this and all, but it's too much!"

"YOU'RE BACK!" They rejoiced.

"Huh? What do you mean we're back?" Ryuji scratched his head.

"Well, uh, you see..." Shiho sheepishly smiled. "You two kinda had opposite meals the whole day."

"Meaning?"

"While you had a huge interest in meat, Ryuji had a huge interest in sweets. In short, you ate nearly a cargo box load of meat while Ryuji ate a mountain of sweets." Ren dumbed it down.

Ryuji and Ann look at each other before sticking their tongues out and requesting for a lot of water.

"YECH! I can't have sweets all the time, man! It'll make me get diabetes!"

"I can't have this much meat in me! I might get high cholesterol!"

"Called it." Morgana cackled.

Sumire stretched her arms and yawned. "I know it's quite the celebration, but I gotta get going now."

"Me too." Shiho yawned as well, making Ann frown.

"I'm sorry, Shiho."

"It's fine. A bit weird, but fun."

After the two best friends hugged each other, Shiho then warned Ann not to use too many meat innuendos. Left in confusion, Ann then yawned and asked Ren if she could sleep in for the night. Morgana accompanied Shiho and Sumire to the station while sticking with Ryuji in searching for carbonated drinks.

As Ren closed up shop and readied himself for bed, he saw Ann with her blouse unbuttoned.

"Hey, Ren."

Ren then chuckled and kissed his girlfriend in the lips. "Even after all that meat in your stomach, you still have the energy for it?"

"Well, I still have room for one more meat."

Ren groaned in annoyance. "No more meat puns, please."

Ann laughed as she straddled on his lap. "Time for a little dessert now, right?"

"You want it sweet or spicy?" Ren mused her.

"How about both?" She replied with a grin.

When Morgana arrived back in LeBlanc, he immediately deserted the place and charged straight into Futaba's room. He hoped that whatever Ann did to Ren was just an illusion, but Futaba said otherwise.

When Ryuji arrived in Shibuya, he was greeted by Yusuke, who invites him to eat some chocolate cakes. Yusuke was lucky he had to eat four chocolate cakes instead of two.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, we all know what meat Ann managed to get for dessert. (Sadly, this isn't a smut one-shot, so receive the implication instead.) And Ryuji won't be eating anything sweet for a while despite his energy going into a minor sugar rush.
> 
> For those who wonder how their curry looked like, imagine it as Mystery Food X from Persona 4... except it is in a rainbow color instead of purple.
> 
> Three down, two to go! I really hope I can finish the one-shots before the holidays. Although I have enough free time during the Christmas-New Years bracket, I still have stuff to do during that time. So better early than procrastinate (and go back to another burnout breakdown).
> 
> Until then, see ya!


End file.
